I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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