How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
