Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
