Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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