just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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