You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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