I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
