Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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