No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
