Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
