oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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