we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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