Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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