Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
