Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
