I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
