so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
