please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
