Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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