Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
