We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize