Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
