You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
