I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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