I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
People in love make me want to vomit
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
