Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
