It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
