Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
