just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
