How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
