bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
As shirtless as possible
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
