Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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