My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My brain says no but my pants say off.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
