I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
