Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
