so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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