D3 body, D1 cock
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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