Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
