nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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