Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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