we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
