dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
