cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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