sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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