Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
