You're so nebulous sometimes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
