just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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