Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
