Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
