I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you had me at cake vodka
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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