Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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